If you are a single Christian Woman, I know you’ve heard it at least 100 times and by the 15th time, you probably wanted to choke the person who said:
Delight yourself in the Lord and He will give you the desires of your heart (Psalm 37:4)
in response to your desire for a husband.
It’s the number #1 scripture single women get tired of hearing.
We don’t really like to admit that we get tired of hearing the same scripture, over and over again. But after a while, it just sounds like an overused cliché. I mean, it is the word of God, so you feel like a heathen when someone says it and they can’t give you context or tell you what it means.
I don’t blame you. Pastors, single’s ministry leaders, and married people all use it as a way to remind you that if you give God what He wants (delight) He will give you what you want (marriage).
That may be true to some extent, but here’s another way to look at that scripture. The phrase “give you the desires of your heart” can be interpreted differently.
Instead of: “God will give me everything I want,” what if it means:
“God will give me the desires HE wants me to want?”
In other words, He will actually place His desires for me in my heart and eventually, I’ll want what He wants for me.
When our desires come directly from us, they can sometimes be crazy or even sinful. And sometimes, they just don’t align with God’s will. James 1: 14- 15 TPT, says our OWN desires and thoughts drag us into evil. And those desires give birth to sin and sin leads to death!
If our desires can lead us to death, why would God give us the desires of our heart?
Have you ever asked God for something and looked back and you were glad that He didn’t give it to you? That’s happened to me a few times. Those desires came from my flesh or my sinful thoughts—not necessarily from a place where I wanted God’s will to take priority. They came from a place that would make me feel good or satisfy my emotions in the moment.
For instance, there have been times when I wanted God to hurt somebody—I mean strike them down— for what they did to me. I wanted Him to make them pay for their mistakes. Yes, I wanted them to suffer!!!!
But the more I serve God and delight myself in Him, my desire is for Him to give them exactly what they need. Sometimes it may be punishment; other times it may be the healing and forgiveness that we all need occasionally.
But that’s God’s decision, not mine’s.
You were never meant to be alone.
God wants you to marry a Godly man who loves you as Christ loves the church; who will also protect you, provide and pray for you.
But your own desire may be for the guy who:
- Is a 666 (six figure salary, six feet tall, six pack abs)
- Says he’s a Christian, but his lifestyle doesn’t always show it
- Depends on you to take care of him – financially, and
- May be afraid of commitment
God wants you to be equally yoked. He doesn’t care about looks.
Of course, He wants you to be attracted to your husband, but He looks at his heart (not his height) to determine whether he’s going to be a good husband to you.
It’s one thing to pray for a husband who can financially support the family. But you take it to fleshly levels when you pray for a man who must make six figures and wear a suit everyday—because a construction worker is not your type.
The prayer for six figures in a suit is all about validation. There’s something about that guy that will make you feel good about yourself and make you look good in front of other people. That has nothing to do with whether or not he’s husband.
It could also be a deep-rooted fear of love and commitment. If you keep your standards high enough, you don’t have to ever worry about finding love, so your fear never materializes.
I truly believe this is the reason some women will remain single.
They refuse to align their desires with what God wants for them. They would rather cater to their flesh. As a result, they keep choosing no good, immature, unworthy men and trying to change them into husbands.
Then they end up hurt and disappointed when it doesn’t work out the way they planned. Now they have even more baggage piled on top of the baggage they already had.
If a worthy man happens to cross their path, they won’t be able to recognize him because they’re looking through “baggage-colored” glasses.
They say things like: “he’s not my type” or “he’s too nice for me.”
Unfortunately, all of that is true.
As long as you’re carrying baggage and not willing to align your desires with God’s desires, a good man is NOT going to be your type. You’ll continue to check for your typical type who keeps breaking your heart over and over again.
Don’t be that girl.
Stop dating long enough to ask God to align your desires with His. He’s waiting for you to make Him a priority, so he can fill your heart with everything He wants you to have.