According to the latest Harris Poll happiness index, 69% of Americans consider themselves to be unhappy. Most unhappy people have been that way for so long, that they don’t even know why they’re unhappy.
It feels normal to them.
And what’s worse, they even don’t know what it will take to make them happy.
I’ve learned that happiness is a choice, followed by a series of actions to change your circumstances. In other words, choose to be happy, then take the necessary steps to make it happen. And if you take those steps long enough, you’ll see eventually see change.
The only difference between people who are happy and those who are not is: happy people know what they want and they are not afraid to pursue it.
Everyone else is probably living someone else’s dream while wondering what coulda, shoulda, woulda. Instead of looking at how they can change their lives, unhappy people commit the same self-defeating habits over and over again.
Here are 7 of them
1.You are a people pleaser. You find it hard to say no because it’s more important for you to try and make others happy than it is for you to actually be happy. You take better care of others than you do yourself. Rather than risk rejection or abandonment, you sabotage your own happiness and peace of mind in order to please others. The best thing you can do is figure out why you are afraid of the word ‘no.’ Then use it, when necessary.
2.You are overly concerned about what others think of you. Before you make one move, you calculate every step in fear of what others will think, say, or do if you proceed. You fear man more than you fear God. The truth is, if you actually knew how much other people really don’t think of you, you’d be insulted. In fact, most people are so consumed with their own lives and business matters that they have space in their mind for little else.
3.You are a trouble maker. Misery loves company. Pastor Joyce Meyer recalls that early in her marriage, she was so miserable that she intentionally did everything she could to make her husband miserable. She couldn’t understand why and how he was happy all the time. She did everything she could to disturb his peace, but it never worked. He had made a decision that whenever life happened to him, he would brush it off and keep going. And you should too.
4.You entertain negative thoughts. Your life is the sum total of every decision you’ve ever made. Your decisions all start with a thought—good or bad. Unhappy people entertain self-defeating thoughts that keep them in negative behavior patterns. “I can’t do it.” “Nobody likes me.” “I’m such a failure.” If thoughts like these go through your mind on a regular basis, you’ll have to intentionally work to reverse your mindset. That means changing what you read, hear or see.
5.You hold on to grudges. Very few people escape life without the scars of betrayal, hurt or abuse. Whether it’s our closest friends, lovers, or family members, it happens to all of us. Unforgiveness robs you of your peace. And a lack of peace robs you of happiness. Make a conscious decision to let it go today. Even if you can’t do it for them, do it for yourself.
6.You define yourself by external factors. Your job, titles, and material possessions are an extension of what you do. But they have nothing to do with who you are. If those things validate you, you must learn to separate them from your true identity. What you do and what you own can always change overnight. But your reputation, work ethic and personality goes with you everywhere you go.
7.You are a worry wart. If you are consumed with concerns about every little thing that could go wrong, you can’t possibly be enjoying life. You’re wasting your energy on things you can’t change. And if you can’t change them, why are you allowing them to take up head space? The level that you worry is a direct connection to how much you trust God. Instead of focusing on the problem, focus on the problem solver.
Which of you by worrying can add a single moment to your life? Luke 12: 25 NLT
As I said before, happiness is a choice that we get to make every day that we are alive. If you want better outcomes, you have to make better choices.