You’ve heard them before.
The match-makers. The know-it-alls. Your married friends and your mother too.
“You should go out on more dates.” “What’s wrong with him, him or him?” “All you have to do is find a good man, settle down and get married.” “What are you waiting for?”
They make it sound so easy.
Meanwhile, you sit at home night after night. Weekend after weekend. Alone. Lonely. Bored and feeling sorry for yourself because you’re a good woman, you have a wonderful life, but you don’t have one prospect.
Find a good man? You don’t even know where to begin looking.
And even when you do manage to go out on dates, it’s so awkward. You second guess everything you say and do. You’re so nervous that you’re gonna choke, until you can’t enjoy your food.
Sometimes you even wonder if you should just give up your dream of ever meeting the right guy.
But you shouldn’t and here’s why.
Dating doesn’t have to be complicated.
You can meet new people in a casual environment without the pressure of having to be perfect, if you rethink your motives.
Ready to Change the Game?
When you put pressure on yourself to be the one he’s been looking for his whole life, you make it impossible to put your best, authentic- self forward.
Instead of going out with the goal of snagging the right one, simply go out with the goal of enjoying yourself. And if you want to broaden your reach and totally eliminate the pressure, take it a step further.
Go out with a group of no-strings attached, fun-loving adults who know how to hang out with little-to- no expectations.
Because at the end of the day,
girls people just wanna have fun.
How to Hang with Friends
I know it sounds like group dating, but there’s a twist to it. This is simply hanging out with no expectations, except having a good time.
“Group dating” implies that you’re expecting to make a special connection with someone within the group.
But if you’re focused on having fun with other people, just like you, who care’s if a special somene is there or not?
If he is there, cool. He’s gotten a chance to see who you really are in a relaxed, social environment. And now he knows whether or not he wants to pursue a relationship with you.
And that’s what you should want; someone who is interested in the real you. Not the nervous, stumbling, faux version of you.
If he’s not there, it’s still cool. You’ve had a good time and made connections with people who could potentially introduce you to the one- one day.
Because now they know a little bit about you and they know if you’re a good fit for their brother; cousin; co-worker – you get the picture.
It’s group dating, reinvented.
I like to call it groupfun.
You’re just socializing with other people just like you. There is no need to go out of your way to impress others or stress about small details. Your motive is to be yourself and to have fun doing it.
That’s all there is to it.
5 Steps to Help you get the Party Started
YOU, yes you, can initiate groupfun yourself. All you have to do is be creative and open to experiencing new things with a group of friends.
If you’ve ever planned a party, complete with invitations and the cake, this is pretty much the same thing. Except it isn’t quite a party – unless you want it to be. And you don’t have to have cake – unless, of coarse, you want to.
Now that you have the general idea, it’s time to start groupfun.
- Select a Theme or Activity
Here is where the real fun begins. Because you have to find activities that would be appealing to the majority, you will need to be diverse in your selections.
You may want to plan a traditional safe outing to make some people feel comfortable or you may want to risk it all and plan something adventurous to make sure it’s interesting.
To help you get started (and because I’m cool like that), I have come up with a list of activities that has something for everyone. If you keep reading, you’ll eventually get to my list at the bottom of this post or you can scroll down if you’re too excited to wait.
2. Choose a date / location
The location will depend on the theme or activity that you choose. For events such as cookouts or game night, you may not be comfortable hosting in your home. You should consider using a church facility or a public park.
You will never be able to accommodate everyone’s schedule; just do the best you can. If they can’t make it, be sure to let them know that there will be other opportunities for them to participate in groupfun.
Because if you do it right, you’ll never be able to get away with doing it one time and forgetting about it. When it’s over, they’ll be asking: “when is the next gathering?”
3. Send out Invitations
Call your friends and tell them to call their friends and you’re all set.
If they’re anything like my friends, they’ll want to know: “what’s the occasion?” This is your chance to tell them that you just want to hang out and have no-strings-attached fun with a group of like-minded people.
You may choose to host a large event, or depending on the venue, you may want to limit the number of participants so that everyone can be easily accommodated.
4. Be a Great Hostess
Show enthusiasm. The more you are excited about the groupfun, the more your friends will be excited.
Being a great hostess also involves taking care of the small details so that all your guests have to do is show up and have fun. Do your homework before you extend invitations so that you can answer any questions they may have.
If you are hosting a home-based groupfun, they may ask “what should I bring?” If your groupfun is location based, they will always want to know what’s the address and how much do they have to pay.
5. Ask for a volunteer to host the next Groupfun
At the end of the gathering, your group will want to know when the fun will happen again. This is your opportunity to ask for a volunteer to keep the party going.
Without further ado, here is my list of activities to get your groupfun started. Obviously not everything on the list will appeal to everyone, so I’ve divided the list up and placed the activities into categories. But just to be clear, the links provided are examples of what each activity entails, but not necessarily endorsements.
Nature Lovers / Outdoorsy /Adventurous
This section is for those who want to be outside more than they want to be inside. Your outdoorsy friends will love you for including them when you plan one of these excursions.
- Discover treasures left behind by strangers when you go geocaching
- Beach games are all about having fun in the sand
- Go on a hayride / bonfire at a local farm
- Lace up your shoes and hike a trail
- If you don’t mind getting wet, white water rafting is the way to go
- Tubing is perfect for the less adventurous water lover
- Go fishing and have a fish fry
- Canoeing and kayaking are a great way to exercise the upper body
- Take a long distance bike ride
- For some amazing views, go zip lining
Old School Fun
Do you remember staying outside until the street lights came on? You had no idea what time it was because you were busy playing kick ball, hide and go seek, simon says and red- light green- light.
What about those movies that never get old? If I were to quotes a line from some of my favorites, I’ll bet you would know them (“you sho is ugly”).
Anyway, this section contains my personal picks for low budget, home, park or playground recreation.
- Host the old school olympics in your backyard or at a nearby park
- Host a pot luck bar be que / cookout
- Buy different flavors of popcorn and host a classic movie night
- Break out the Wii Sports or dance central and create your own video game challenge
- Choose a secret ingredient and host your own iron chef contest
- Have everyone to bring canvases and host an artist night
- Pull out the Uno cards, spades or traditional board games
When I say “friendly,” I mean it isn’t crucial if you don’t win. There’s no real prize involved; just bragging rights. So no one should get their feelings hurt.
But if you happen to have a friend that takes everything to the extreme, you might not want to invite them this time around. After all, you’re just having fun and you want to keep it that way.
- Form teams and put a scavenger hunt together at a mall or in your neighborhood
- Hit the tracks for go-cart racing
- Play a round of mini –golf
- Meet at a billiard room for a pool game
- Play a game of laser tag
- Go bowling or roller skating
- Layer up and go to a paintball park
- Grab cameras and host a photo scavenger hunt
- Plan your own Amazing Race
Culture and Arts
For the more refined people in your group, host events that will allow them to get dressed up and show-off their appreciation for the finer things in life.
- Go to dinner and dancing with a live band
- Visit a local winery
- Schedule a group cooking class
- Schedule a group dance lesson
- Meet at your local sip n paint studio
- Go to a music concert
- Go to a theatre performance or stage play
- Pool your monies together and rent a yacht for an evening out on the water
- Book a foodie tour or create your own by eating different courses at different restaurants
- Take a sightseeing tour and visit some of the sights you’ve never seen in your own city
- Visit local cultural museums
Just for fun
Just so there is no excuse for not joining the fun, this bonus section has simple things that everyone likes to do.
- Amusement parks are not just for kids, you and your friends can enjoy them too
- Purchase group seating at a professional/college football or basketball game
- Visit the zoo or aquarium
- Check out local carnivals, festivals, or fairs
- Get your quarters together and go to the arcade
- Rent a karaoke machine or go to karaoke night at your favorite restaurant