How your personality affect Dating and Marriage
Last week, I did an overview of the extroverts. This week the introverts are up. Before we go any further, remember these 3 facts:
- No one can be put completely into one box. There’s always exceptions to the rule because as much as we are alike, we are also unique. But there are general characteristics that can be applied to people who share the same personality.
- Your personality type can be inherited from your parents and grandparents on both sides. While some traits are instinctive, some are learned.
- Very few of us are 100% made up of one personality type. Most of us have a primary personality and a secondary personality. And because we wear multiple hats, we can use one personality at work and a different one at home. When you take the test, answer the questions as you see yourself relating to family, friends, and partners; not co-workers.
“If the networked data source does not reach the correct nodes, it’s possible that there’s a breech in the connection.”
Whatever that means, it sounds exactly like something my deep thinking, introspective, sensitive, techie husband, Carl, would say. He’s a melancholy.
Regular people would say it like this: “we need new cables.”
But melancholies think on another level—too deep and intellectual for the rest of us to understand. Of course they do. Out of all the personalities, they are the smartest and they perfect everything they do. Whether it’s mowing the lawn or installing a computer system— Carl has a method to do it perfectly and consistently every time. And he wants everyone else to do it
perfectly, his way. So he has no problem instructing you on how to get things done. But, you may not understand the words that coming out of his mouth. Have dictionary, will travel.
Melancholies are also talented. Most of them are creative artists, musicians and writers.
|We love them because:||They solve problems|
|Unofficial Motto:||If you can’t do it “right,” don’t do it at all|
|What they need from you:||Sensitivity, support, space, silence|
|Basic desires:||Perfection, Order, Organization|
|High School Superlative:||Most likely to win a Nobel Peace Prize for outstanding achievements in neuro-science|
Weaknesses: When things are not done perfectly their way, it’s hard for melancholies to sleep. They can go through life feeling down because their loved ones don’t measure up their ideal of excellence. This can lead them to be critical, judgmental, and pessimistic.
Melancholies are so deep and introspective that they need time alone to be with their thoughts. They spend so much time with their thoughts that some consider them to be over thinkers who analyze every detail. It can feel like they’re shutting you out of their world, but they’re not. They’re just processing the thoughts that you wouldn’t understand.
Remember the husband who got disciplined in the coffee shop? If I recall correctly, he said nothing. He quietly ate his food and never responded to his wife’s demands. He’s probably a phlegmatic.
Phlegmatics are quiet, peace makers who just want to be left alone. They’re introverts who have to recharge before and after spending a lot of time in a crowd. Their favorite way to recharge is with a nap. In fact, their favorite way to do anything is with a nap.
They don’t mind being around people as long as you don’t expect them to talk much. They don’t like stress and are not in a hurry to do anything any time soon.
|We love them because:||They are agreeable peacemakers who selflessly love|
|Unofficial Motto:||Don’t worry, be happy|
|What they need from you:||Respect and Validation, but they would never ask for it|
|High School Superlative:||Most laid-back, teacher’s pet, or nothing at all because you hardly knew they existed|
Weaknesses: Sanguines may call them snooty- because they don’t talk much; cholerics may call them lazy, and melancholies may call them simpletons because they take their time to process the job and take a nap before they get anything done. This is also known as procrastination.
They are also mistaken for weak and passive because they rarely stand up for themselves.
They don’t like change, so don’t expect them to cooperate on any changes that will interrupt the consistent, stable life they’ve created. They often keep the same job, home, phone, and shoes for decades—even if they’re no longer suitable. Comfort and familiarity are more important than anything else.
If you want to know how each of the four personalities behave in relationships with their significant others, click here to take the soulmate personality test, now.
***Most of my research was taken from the books: Personality Plus by Florence Littauer and Personality DNA by Sherrilyn Williams.