My friend’s grandmother has 6 kids, 27 grandkids, and several great-grandkids. Every Christmas, she receives a tons of gifts. One year as they were opening gifts, they noticed that the gifts looked familiar. Familiar as in, “these are the same gifts that we gave grandma in previous years.” Grandma had re-gifted almost everything they had given her!
Gift giving is awkward enough with family members, who you’ve known all of your life, when you aren’t sure what they like anymore or when they already have two of everything.
But anxiety or nervousness around gift-giving is really pumped when you don’t know exactly where you stand with someone or when you don’t know if they feel the same way you feel.
One thing is sure: if you spend too much money, you could be sending the message that you’re getting serious, yet he may not feel the same way. The last thing you want to do is make him feel obligated to give you what you want –whether it’s an official status or an expensive gift.
The exact opposite is also true. If you decide not to get a gift at all, you could be sending the message that you’re aren’t interested in him.
What’s a girl to do?
If you’re bold, you could always ask: “What’s on your wish list for Christmas?” This lets him know that you’re interested in exchanging gifts and you’re thoughtful enough to get him something that he actually wants. If he gives you a list, you should choose one thing from the list to keep it somewhat of a surprise.
But not everyone is comfortable having that conversation depending on what stage their relationship is in. If you’re still wondering “are we official or not?” here are a few tips for you to follow.
- Be prepared to reciprocate. Even if you don’t yet have a title and you aren’t sure if he want to exchange gifts, have a gift available just in case he presents you with something. There’s nothing worse than receiving an unexpected gift and having nothing to give in return.
- Give something practical based on his hobbies and interests. You don’t really have to know everything about a person to nail this. But you do have to pay attention to the type of music he listens to, the sports teams he keeps up with, his favorite foods, and whether or not he’s a techie. Armed with that information, you can
- Cook his favorite meal, take him to dinner at a restaurant that specializes in foods he likes to eat, or give kitchen gadgets if he likes to cook
- Give sports gear or tickets to see his favorite team
- Give music by his favorite artists or music in the same genre as his favorite artist
- Give modest tech accessories that complement something he already has, such as a Bluetooth, ear buds, portable chargers, a charging station, or a remote control
OR, if he’s a guy of style and swag, you can
- Give accessories (hats, scarfs, belts, ties, sweaters) made by his favorite designer or from his favorite store
- Buy a gift certificate for a consultation with a local stylist
- Buy nice grooming products such as skin care sets, nail care sets, or cologne
AND / OR, if you really want to keep it simple and sweet, you can write a thoughtful card that goes a little something like this:
- “I’m blessed to have a new friend like you in my life. I look forward to sharing exciting experiences with you that allow me the opportunity to get to know you better. This card is an voucher for you to redeem for a date night of your choice. Merry Christmas”
NOTE: If you haven’t had your 1st date yet, this card is also a way to let a guy know you’re interested — without actually asking him out. If he redeems the card, thumbs up. If he doesn’t, you’ll know right away that he’s not into you and you can move on with your life.
3. Don’t be afraid to receive. Relationships are about giving AND taking. Never be ashamed, prideful, or afraid to receive, especially if you are a giver. The Law of Sunk Costs suggests that that people are likely to commit to a business venture and relationship that they have invested time, money, and energy into. So there’s nothing wrong with asking for what you want, within reason. You shouldn’t be a selfish brat, but definitely allow him to invest in you as well.
No matter what happens, be grateful. I pray that your Christmas is filled with everything God intended for it to be: a season filled with giving and receiving love!!!!
Merry Christmas from my family to yours!